look like a million bucks!

I'm going on vacation to the Caribbean next month!!! How anyone can go to the Caribbean without camping out on the beach is beyond me. But you can't do it in jeans. You could maybe do it in shorts. But you would be better off with a swimsuit, would you not? Swimsuit shopping is like playing Goldilocks. This suit's too skimpy; this suit's too modest; this suit makes me look like two pigs fighting under a blanket.

The Victoria's secret catalog had some really gorgeous stuff, and when I checked their website they were having a huge sale. But I felt like I didn't have what it took to pull one of those off on. Being a model for Vickie's is hard work and those ladies work HARD. Looking like starvation with a tan is their J.O.B. My job is sitting on my tuchas in front of a computer. No way I can look like them in those suits. So I ditched that idea.

The lands end catalog had some better options. Suits to disguise every anxiety area. Except their starting price for anything with a little pattern was maybe $60--then there would be shipping, and probably New York State Tax. Some of those suits were $79.95.

I finally found my suit at Syms. I tried on a couple and actually got my Mom's stamp of approval on a faux-tankini (sort of looks like the one in the picture). I looked so good in this swimsuit. I looked like I had spent all winter and all spring in the gym and did not visit the drive-through umpteen times in the past couple of weeks. And guess how much I paid? 27 bucks! I checked the label only when I got home. The brand? Fantasizer.

If you search hard enough you can find a suit to do those crunches for you. Now I just need some cornrows and I'm good to go. Can't have my hair flopping all around in that humidity.
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and now just a word to swimsuit designers everywhere--a swimsuit is probably one of the scariest items of clothing a woman has to shop for. Horizontal stripes make even Twiggy look wide. Why are all your stripes horizontal?!

craigslist

This morning I saw an ad on craigslist advertising for a job-hunting buddy. Wow. I'd never have thought of that. I didn't answer the ad. What was I doing on craigslist? Looking for a bookclub or some kind of group to hang out with. More on that later. But speaking of work--and me wanting to kick trashcans last week:

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 41%

Well, you don't have the worst job in the world, but it's not great. And don't worry, you're not the problem - your company is. Start looking around for another job, even if you're not totally fed up. Because in time, you're going to be dying to quit!

Should You Quit Your Job?

somtimes I say the dumbest things

my only consolation is that since I am not the center of the universe, people are not listening that intently anyway and/or will soon forget or misremember exactly what I said.
yeesh.