A commenter asked a very good question a few posts back and I wonder what other people think about it.
If someone seems like a nice enough person and you are attracted to them, is that or isn't that enough to build a fulfilling relationship?
Tell me what you think.
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I see some great comments there but I'm still wondering. What about:
values
heritage
ethnicity
upbringing
religion
personal hygiene (just kidding)
work ethic
ambition (or the lack thereof)
do those things matter or are some of us trifling to take them into consideration in romantic and platonic relationships?
where i spent my formative years
8 hours ago
14 hoots and hollers:
This post has made me dig deeper, thus, my post for tomorrow, "Fulfilling Relationships." I gave you a shout on the post!
Thank you!
I'm sure that's a starting point. The thing is if people are the bend or break type. Are they willing to bend in certain places to accomodate the other or are they so rigid that they break...and then break out.
It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along
I think it's a nice beginning but nice people can turn into horrible people. I think it depends on just how "nice" they are and are you willing to settle for their level of niceness..can you walk all over them, etc
It's posted! Come check out my answer.
http://ruhoffman.blogspot.com/
If someone seems like a nice enough person and you are attracted to them, is that or isn't that enough to build a fulfilling relationship?
Well, those are enough to start dating and learning more. I wouldn't build a relationship on just those two things, but I would definitely find out more based on those two things.
For me, personally- it's not enough. Maybe if I were confident (or foolish) enough to believe my tomorrows were mine, it just might be (Honestly).
I write this 3 of my four limbs in numbness. I know my tomorrow does not belong to me and niceties arent enough.
Thank God for numb limbs.
We all send our representative during the first few months. Give it a few months (IMO 6 months) then see if they are still "nice enough". Nice enough does not determine character, ambition, etc.
Heck I am "nice enough" at work but that does not mean I will be inviting my co-irkers all up and through my crib! lol
I think those are essential places to start, but to build something lasting, there are some serious matters that need exploring, and I think you've listed them.
There are certain things that I know about myself to tell if something would never work, no matter how nice a guy might be, or how attracted I might be to him. Call them dealbreakers, ifn' you will. Political orientation, religious belief, feminism (as in is he or isn't he).
And you laugh about hygiene, but let me tell you, there are some dudes out there whose idea of it and yours are not the same. And that can have quite an effect on that attraction thing.
Good question. I thinks enough to start building a fulfilling relationship. Is it enough to make it stand the test of time??? Hmmmm, probably not.
I don't know maybe my view of the world is far too simplified. But if you take all the external things away and its just you and him and you and his friends and him and your friends - and your both nice and attracted to each other. then what more do you want?
He could be asshole and have poor ethics and no heritage but your are nice to each other then what else is there? atleast he cares about your crap. since when is nice not enough?
Birds and bees don't argue as much as humans do. Humans complicate things allot. :(
@ rosemarie
nice post.
@ Amadeo
you can bend a pretzel and then bake it and then it won't bend anymore. It'll only break. Maybe some people are baked.
@ Owen
what rainbows? what butterflies? were there ever any?
@ honey-libra
tell me more about this "walking all over" business.
@ Miz JJ
exactly.
@Willowtree
I think you have taken thankfulness to a whole new level.
@ Icey
gosh those reps are so sexy sometimes.
co-irkers I'm gonna use that.
@ Dorothy
Exactly. For the casual relationships some ppl like to enjoy--the hygiene and attraction are plenty. But other than that--well, it gets complicated.
@ B.
Exactly. Especially since we've all seen so many relationships that seemed heavily researched and extensively fortified crumble to dust in no time at all.
@ Owen
defeating your own logic. An asshole would not be nice to me. Nice is not enough. There has to be something else--hard to describe. Maybe affinity. Something that just seems right and makes sense. Or maybe I am jumping ahead.
yeah, I would say there's much more involved than just physical attraction and being "nice". i've know people who were nice but for selfish reasons. Those two things are enough to get a date or two but you gotta dig way deeper (like the things on your list) once you talk about building a relationship. Almost errybody seems nice when you first meet them.
You know take advantage of them...not no kinky stuff LOL
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